Happy New Year, everyone! How did you ring 2017 in? I celebrated with some of my best friends, playing cards and having fun together for the evening. I hope however you spent your evening, you had a great night!
As usual, this time of year always leads me to reflecting about the year and how I plan to move forward into the new year….
This time last year, I was so happy. I was living in Fort Campbell, KY, I had a great group of friends, my marriage was wonderful, and life seemed like it was going well. didn’t think it could go anywhere but up from there. How wrong I was.
This past year was one of the hardest I’ve went through in a long time. A few months into 2016, I lost a bunch of those friends I thought were so great when I made a huge mistake involving one of them, and then shortly after my marriage fell apart. I made the hard decision to leave my husband, and moved back to my hometown with my kids to start our lives over. Now here I am, on my own for the first time in my adult life, rebuilding a life for myself and my kids as I prepare to get a divorce. I have spent a lot of the past year thinking about the horrible choices I’ve made and the twists and turns my life has taken in the last 12 months. Sometimes I miss my old life more than I can bear, and the pain is crushing. But ignorance is not bliss, and I wouldn’t want to keep living life without knowing what I do now.
Even though times are still tough and the kids and I are still getting settled into our new life here in Missouri, I am choosing to focus on the positive things in my life for 2017. I’m not going to keep beating myself up for mistakes I made, or keep wondering if there was something I could have done better to make things turn out differently than they have. I cannot change what’s in the past, but I can work hard to make a good life for myself and my kids right here, right now. I can’t undo what I did to shatter those friendships last year, but I can focus on being the best friend I can be going forward, and being grateful for the absolutely amazing friends I have that stood by me when times got hard. I can’t repair my broken family or my marriage, but I can move forward with the 3 beautiful children I got from it, and the blessing of a family who has rallied around me and those children to help us start over again. I could dwell on all the things I could have done better, or I can use those mistakes as lessons learned to be a better person in the future for my family, friends, and anyone in the future who may choose to be part of our lives.
I choose happiness. I choose strength. I choose positivity.
A friend of mine shared this on Facebook, and I loved it so much I had to steal it. I think these are gonna be my mantras for 2017….
So for all of you who had a shitty year in 2016, here’s to us. Here’s to a new year filled with positivity and the choice to allow ourselves to be happy and focus on the blessings in our lives, and not feel bad for making choices that will allow us to live a better life. We deserve to be happy just as much as everyone else. Here’s to a truly happy new year. ♥